I have to stop counting days.
It's the day after surgery, I continue to experience relief from the pressure that was in my skull.
There are random, moving, stab-pains that I feel throughout ---but those go and return in a tolerable amount of time. Nothing compared to before...
I stay away from most pain meds but need the occasional dose of Dilaudid. Followed by ❌ two ❌ and three ❌ more allergic reactions.
My upper quadrant pain keeps increasing with the pain med doses. The doctors notice my liver enzymes going back up, but feel good that they are improving overall. They let me know they don't plan to biopsy- Despite their optimism, I go back to refusing the pain meds to give my liver a break ...
🎃- the kids come up, as planned, to get their makeup done and check-in on me. Logan seems good- he gets his Joker face ready while I keep the scarf on to hide the wack job.
They go home and I get the updated pics of our Stranger Things decor-
decorations ordered off Amazon- while in pain and panicking-
nice-
not terrible...
They seem happy-
Logan has his friends over and then my ex-husband swings by to keep everyone busy.
Again, credit to my team and I'm so grateful to have the help- but in the moment, I was sour grapes and needed sleep.
Around 7:30PM another team of doctors round and I start to listen to next steps and recommend plans when my hearing becomes muffled. GI specialists were discussing my liver when a woman talks from the right side of my body.
I almost jump out of the bed because I didn't see she was there....
Wait- not another weird thing- I can't see on my right side- what the fuck going on?
The GI team left- and they call in Neurology 🥸.
they examine me head to toe
It doesn't matter which eye i close...
I can't see in one black vertical line.
They Order more MRIs
Discuss steroids for swelling
Neurosurgeon 😎 return
they dont agree to steroids
Advise to wait on the scans
Ultimately:
I have to stop counting days- b/c
I do not have the biopsy results.
My head pain is gone-ish-🙃
I'm healing from the skull removal
I'm learning where I can + can't touch
This hospital stay isn't over but this first week- the kids went back to normal. While a shift occurred- the family dynamics had changed.
My mother was anxious and on amother-level of worry. I tried to understand but the pain would come back with stress.
The hospital became my safe space for that barrier between the throbbing pain everyday tasks.
Comments